August 19, 1927 - March 23, 2011
 |
| Rog & Ev Haring, 60th Wedding Anniversary 2007 |
 |
| Evelyn & Roger Haring 1947 |
March 29, 2011
It's difficult to express my gratitude for the incredible support from so many of Mom's, and our, friends and family! Mom's funeral service was lovely. Father Joe's words were heartfelt, insightful and comforting to us all. My brother Tom's strength of character was at it's peak (as usual) as he stood up and delivered his own touching and moving eulogy for Mom on behalf of our family. Well, done Tom!...Not an easy task, but certainly a labor of love.
So wonderful to see so many people in attendance!..So much love shown for a woman who has touched so many lives...it truly defies description! We are all so blessed. Thank you all!
As for me and my sweet Gitte, We felt so lucky and privileged that we could be a part of it all through the miracle a modern technology. Thanks to Skype video calling we were able to greet and visit with nearly everyone during the visitation hour, be present for the entire service as well as the luncheon afterwards. It's the next best thing to actually being there. Many thanks to Kathy Parsons, Roger & Retta Parsons and of course my sister Patti for making it possible!
After the service and luncheon, we all went back to the family home where I was able to "hang out" with everyone via Skype. We told stories, jokes and shared our memories for about 4 hours. Very healing!
Thanks again so very much,
J. D. & Gitte
Funeral Arrangements for Evelyn:
Tuesday, March 29th
At Our Lady of the Lake Catholic Church
Prudenville, MI
Viewing: 10:00 AM EDT
Mass: 11:00 AM EDT
Luncheon immediately following
----------------------------
Hi everybody,
I'm starting this blog because I figure this is the easiest way to keep everyone informed as to our difficult situation regarding my Mom's illness and it's progression. Here you can read the latest updates as well as add your own comments if you want to. I will try to be as clear and concise as possible to let you all know exactly what we're facing. In order to get a sense of the order of events and developments, each post will be dated and timed so you can see the progression of events as they have unfolded to us.
In the past couple of weeks, my Mom began to experience some vision problems, blurriness etc., as well as some memory problems. She had a regular visit to her doctor for a checkup scheduled for Thursday February 17th, 2011. At that point she told her doctor of these issues and he ordered a CT scan. There was a difference between this scan and her last one so he decided to check her in to the hospital in Grayling, Michigan for further testing. An MRI was ordered and it showed a "mass" in her brain and was immediately scheduled for transfer to Munson Medical in Traverse City, Michigan where they have one of the top neurologic medical teams in the country. She arrived at Munson on Friday afternoon, February 18th at which point she was examined by the doctors and the evaluation process began.
Feb 19, 2011, 10am EST
Well, thankfully, through the miracle of modern technology, I was able to be present for the meeting with the doctors. Kathy called me on Skype and I could see & hear what the doctors said, add my own thoughts, comments and questions as well as talk it over with Mom, Patti, Dad & Kathy.
So, here's the situation as far as we know it so far. My Mom has a cancerous tumor in her brain. Without a biopsy we don't know for sure exactly what kind it is but it is most likely a glioma. There are several types and grades of these which have different ramifications and effects.
The tumor is surrounded by an edema, or swelling caused by a fluid sac around the tumor which is the body's way of trying to protect itself from the tumor. The problem is, that as the fluid sac increases in size, it applies pressure on the optic nerve which causes vision problems. It also applies pressure on the memory center which causes disorientation, dizziness and of course, memory problems.
When I spoke with her yesterday, at Grayling Hospital, before they took her to Traverse City, she was having big difficulties focusing her attention and thoughts as well as expressing her thoughts. Today, after having been treated with steroids for the swelling, she was almost completely back to herself regarding her ability to concentrate, focus and speak. This is encouraging.
Prior to our meeting with the neurosurgeon, the next paragraph is the first assessment given by the first team of doctors:
The cancer is not curable but it can be managed to one degree or another. There's no way to estimate how much time she has but hopefully we'll have a clearer picture of the prognosis in the coming week. Mom asked the doctor directly, "how long have I got"? and he said it was impossible to say with the little information we have today. He said that he has more questions than answers at this moment, but, said that with that in mind, if we look at "weeks", "months" and "years", it's NOT "weeks" but "months"... could be two months... could be ten months...maybe longer... but not years.
After the first meeting with the first team of doctors, we talked it over and it was decided that we should talk to the neurosurgeon about the possibility of doing a biopsy to "identify the enemy" (in the words of the doctor) as well as any other recommendations, diagnoses and prognosis he may offer. There are risks in doing a biopsy and the neurosurgeon will describe these when we meet with him. But so far, it is my Mom's wish as well as all of the rest of ours, to do the biopsy if we can.
Feb, 19, 2011, 1:30pm
We were told that the neurosurgeon was on the premises and would come to visit Mom, but we did not know when. We didn’t have long to wait.
Feb 19, 2011 2pm
We had our first meeting with the neurosurgeon. At this meeting, we were informed in no uncertain terms of the stark reality of exactly what my Mom, and the rest of us who stand with her are facing.
First of all, this neurosurgeon is very experienced with this sort of thing and immediately said there was no need for a biopsy as he knew exactly what kind of Cancer/ tumor it is and what can be done.
What she has is a gioplastoma, also known as astrocytoma grade 4. This is a very aggressive form of Cancer. The tumor is at this time about 6 centimeters in diameter (about 21/2 inches) and growing fast. The edema, or fluid sac (swelling) is much larger. The tumor is positioned adjacent to the speech center of the brain and the part of the brain that controls motor function.
The steroids can control the swelling to a degree and for a while, which can continue to ease the symptoms ie., speech problems, vision problems, dizziness etc., but will of course have no effect on the tumor itself or the rate of its growth. So, as the tumor grows in size, the tumor itself will begin to apply pressure on the speech center and affect her motor function. At which point the ability to reduce the swelling will not have much positive effect and she will begin to lose her speech and motor function.
So, we asked him what the options are and what the prognosis is:
Surgery with Radiation and Chemotherapy:
There is a surgical option and this procedure is done with micro-surgical techniques where the surgeon goes into the center of the tumor and actually “sucks out” as much of the tumor as possible without causing further damage to her speech center and or causing paralysis. There is a very real risk of this happening even though it is rather rare. After the surgery, she would heal up from the surgery for about three weeks at which time they would start a course of treatment that includes radiation and chemotherapy.
The radiation treatments would be every day for 25 days and the chemotherapy would be pills, taken orally five days each month. So, one pill a day for five days and then, three weeks off. The course of chemotherapy would continue for the rest of her life.
The prognosis for this procedure and course of treatment is that it would give her three to six months…maybe longer.
Without surgery, radiation and Chemotherapy:
If Mom decides to opt for not having the surgery, they would continue the steroids to attempt to control the swelling and reduce her symptoms as long as possible as well as pain management as deemed necessary and just ride it out.
The prognosis for this option is that she will be gone in a few weeks to two or three months depending on the rate of growth of the tumor.
So, this is the reality my Mom and we face. There are very difficult issues to be weighed and analyzed in a short time and hard decisions to make regarding the balance between the added trauma of the possible treatments, progression of the disease as it relates to the quality of life for the duration.
Feb. 20, 2011 8am EST
Later today, Dad, Patti and Kathy Parsons will visit Mom in the hospital in Traverse City and at a point, we will do another conference call via Skype so that bvoth Tom and I can participate in our further discussions of Mom's wishes. There will be no visits or meetings with doctors today but the neurosurgeon will come tomorrow, Monday the 21st to hear if Mom wants the surgery to be performed on Wednesday...or not. I will post an update as we have news.
Thanks for all your love, prayers and support.
J. D. and of course the rest of our family.
9am EST
Just found these links that might help to better understand Mom's condition.
To better understand
astrocytoma:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astrocytoma
glioblastoma multiforme:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glioblastoma_multiforme
Feb. 20, 2011 - 12pm EST
Well, as of 11 am today, Mom has made her decision not to go through the surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. Tomorrow they will make all necessary arrangements; hospice, medications etc., before they leave Munson Medical and go home. Mom is as much at peace with her decision as anyone can be. She expressed her thankfulness for having such a long and wonderful life, loving husband and family. She is ready and very much looking forward to come home tomorrow and continue as long and as well as possible.
And as we have said before, we support and honor her decision...and I for one believe she has made the right choice.
Feb. 25, 2011 - 6:00pm EST
Today was a fairly quiet day. Mom and Dad played cards with the neighbor, Susie, which Mom always loves to do. We had a visit from the hospice chaplin and Mom seemed to appreciate the visit. This weekend, the priest will come. Mom wants to make sure as many arrangements are made as possible while she can still focus and understand as much as possible. Overall, she does really well and continues to have a positive outlook. She appreciates all the calls, cards and visitors, so thanks to all of you!
Feb 26th 2011, (a little after midnight, Denmark time)
Well today was Patti's birthday and her friend from childhood, Kelli came up to Houghton Lake, both to visit Mom & Dad as well as be with Patti for her birthday. She brought a cake! Kathy Parsons came up and Mom & Dad's neighbor/ good friend Susie dropped by as well, so it was nice for Mom to have the company. They all brought food so Patti didn't have to cook. Although I forget what was on the menu, I'm sure it was great! I seem to remember something being said about cocktails as well...Hmmm.
Along the way Gitte and I called on Skype and we had a very nice chat with Mom, Dad, Kelli & all. Mom is still doing really well and that's good to see. Her mobility is good as well as her cognitive awareness and even though she knows she is having some slight memory issues, she tests herself all the time and is successfully "exercising" her memory to keep it all rolling. Well done Mom!
Mom asked Gitte and I to sing a few songs for her and of course we did and had a great time with the music...you know how Mom loves that!
Through the miracle of modern technology (Skype video calls) it's almost like being right there in the room with them and that's a big comfort for Gitte and me. When we call, Patti just sets the laptop on the dining room table and lets it be. That way everyone can just do what they do, talk as they feel like it...just as if we were sitting in the room with them...we were "there" for about an hour or so...what fun!
Even though Mom gets tired easily and needs to pace herself a bit, it's really wonderful that friends & family are calling her on a regular basis and are coming by to visit. She loves it! Thanks everyone for all your wonderful love and support!
J. D. & Gitte
Feb. 27, 2011 10:00 AM EST
Good Morning, everyone. As JD says, Mom had a big busy day yesterday. She enjoyed visits from cousins Mary Lou, Tim and April, and then Carlena, Judy and John. And of course she loves singing songs with JD and Gitte! Mom was pretty tired last night, though, so was glad to get to bed and slept all night until almost 7:00 AM. We all got a good's night's sleep!
Thanks again to everyone for all the calls, cards, email and facebook messages. We really appreciate it.
--Patti
Feb 28, 2011 9:00 PM EST
Hi Everyone,
Mom had a good day today. Over the weekend, she had some weakness in her right leg, but today she has been walking with her walker, with no problem, so that's great. Today we also had a visit from cousins Deana and Maynard which we all enjoyed very much. We continue to as well as could possibly be expected and appreciate all the love and support we are getting from friends and family.
--Patti
Mar. 1, 2011 4:00 PM EST
Mom had a wonderful day today with a visit from some some of her LaPratt cousins. Wayne on vocals also alternated between violin and guitar and his daughter Tracey played along on guitar and joined in on vocals of her own. With sisters Barb and Carolyn, the vocals were complete and of course Mom sang harmony with them all. We even got Dad to sing True Blue Bill. I have to say, though, Mom touched my heart when she told everyone about her recent dreams. She says she often dreams of her dad who died way too young in 1960. And of course she sometimes dreams of her Mom who passed away at 93 in 2003; but apparently recently, they came together to talk with Mom in her dream. She remembers it clearly and saw them as vividly as if they were in the room. Mom remembers talking to them, but doesn't remember what she said. What an experience! All in all, a wonderful day.
--Patti
Mar. 2, 2011 9:00 PM EST
Today was a pleasantly quiet day for Mom. Her nurse came by and all vitals remain good, but he did confirm the change in strength on her right side. Otherwise, though, Mom still feels good with no pain. She is having more and more trouble with her words, which frustrates her, but she remains upbeat. She is completely focused on and looking forward to seeing Tom, Christina, Melanie and her children tomorrow. It's amazing how some of the seemingly little things just delight her. Today, the home health aid came and gave her a proper bath. That made Mom feel so good...she came right back out to her chair and took a nice nap. All in all, another good day.
--Patti
Mar. 3, 2011 7:30 PM EST
Tom, Christina, Melanie, Raina and Reese arrived today after driving all night from Florida. Mom was so happy to see them and we've had a nice day visiting and reminiscing. Melanie spent a lot of time looking through old picture albums and being amazed at some of the old scenes. After dinner, Mom asked me to show the family the pictures of what she has picked out for her funeral: casket, memroial card, verse. That reminded me that I didn't mention that the funeral director came yesterday to help us 'pre-plan' Mom's funeral. Mom has been on a mission to get as much planned as she can while she is still able to do so. And that reminded me of something Anne said. We had been talking about how at peace Mom seems to be with her decision to not have treatment for her cancer. Anne commented that it is as though Mom feels that she has been invited to a big family reunion and she is anxious to get everything ready so that she can go.
--Patti
3/5/2011 5:30 PM EST
We had another big day today. Wayne and Tracey LaPratt came back with Wayne's wife Beth and sister Marilou. Tracey played her violin for Mom and it was great. Actually, everyone did their "tricks" today, just like in the old days when the grandkids were little. Raina played Mary Had a Little Lamb and Hot Cross Buns on her recorder; Gennie and Chris played their guitars and sang, and I even got in on the act this with a few songs of my own. Mom and I sang one of her old favorites together and Mom's harmony was as good as always. And little 6 year Brooks played Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star on his violin! And JD even managed to play along with via Skype. Roger and Retta Parsons joined us at about 1:00 PM and we were so happy to see them. Tom, Christina, Melanie and the kids had to leave to head back Florida today. They headed out about 2:20, and that was a sad departure, but we are so grateful they could come. Mom was so happy to have them here.
As much as Mom loves to be surrounded by people, though, it's very tiring for her. She says her head "gets fuzzy" after awhile of talking, singing and focusing on a variety of conversations and activities. She hates that, because it makes her sleepy and she doesn't want to miss anything! She's always loved a party! Still, she remains upbeat and happy. Often, it is hard for us all to really grasp what is happening to her and that she really is so sick.
--Patti
Mar. 6, 2011 7:30 PM EST
The last of the recent family visitors left today. Gennie, Chris, Ainsley, Brooks and Palmer got in the car and headed out a little before 6:00 PM. Another tearful goodbye, but we were all so happy to have had the visit. Both Gennie and Chris played their guitars and sang to Mom right before they left, which Mom loved of course. Earlier in the day, we all took turns playing Just Dance 2 on the Wii. What fun! I had never played before, but managed to edge out Ainsley on "Hot Stuff." No one was more surprised than I was! Later, Mom, Dad, Ainsley, Palmer and I played a few rousing games of go fish. Mom won once and Dad won twice!
All the fun and festivities wears Mom out though, and she is having more and more trouble with her right leg. She often complains that it is either numb, or "jumpy." And she has less strength in her right hand. Sometimes, she just accepts it, knowing it's because of her brain tumor, other times she says she doesn't understand what's wrong. But still, she never seems sad or depressed. She never complains of any pain exactly, just "tightness." Her discomfort, so far, has never been anything that an occasional aspirin can't handle. We are all thankful for that!
--Patti
Mar. 7, 2011 6:00 PM EST
Mom is still resting after the busy weekend with all the family visiting. She loved the visit, but now she is glad to rest. She did have a game of cards today, though, with Dad and Susie and Mom won! Her short-term memory is gettting a little worse and she is having a harder time walking, but she still keeps giving it her all. And, she's looking forward to Anne coming to visit on Wednesday. Mom's nurse came today and he says her grip is still good, but her legs are little weaker. Mom has started complaining of head pain and fuzziness, but so far, we are able to control that bit of pain with aspirin.
Dad and I went to see the hearing specialist today. The good news is, his hearing is not as bad as we thought, he just needs some better hearing aids. So, we ordered some new prescription hearing aids and the hope is that he will have sigificantly improved hearing as a result. Mom has been very concerned about Dad's hearing and it was a relief for her to know that new hearing aids are on the way.
--Patti
Mar. 9, 2011 9:00 AM EST
Yesterday Mom had a visit from Bill and Carolyn (LaPratt) Blaylock. She always loves visitors, although yesterday she was groggy all day. She slept quite a bit in her chair. Today she is feeling better and is more awake. Her appetite continues to be good which is great. Mom still amazes me, though. Even though her memory is getting worse, the word substitution is worse and she's starting to say random syllables that don't make sense, she still has a sense of humor and can find things to laugh at. It's great to be able to laugh!
--Patti
Mar. 11, 2011 7:30 AM EST
We had a bit of a rough day yesterday. Mom has almost completely lost the use of her right leg/foot. She has no real awareness of where it is or how to control it. When she tries to stand, the right foot just slips out from under her. Thankfully, Anne is here now and has been a great help in transferring Mom from bed to chair, etc. Mom still is a thinker, though. We had been using gripper socks on her feet, but when even those weren't working and Mom was facing the prospect that she might have to be "bedridden" before long, Mom remembered that she has some special diabetic shoes. She called them bedroom slippers and she said they were brown, but told Anne where to find them. Dad and Anne and I all were all searching the bedroom for brown bedroom slippers when Anne found the black shoes in the place where Mom said they would be. So, I brought them to her and asked if they were what she wanted. She said, "Yes!", so we put them on her and she was finally able to stand up enough to be able to be moved from her chair to the table for dinner. Still, all day yesterday she was not able to walk more than a couple of steps, so we had to use the wheelchair pretty much exclusively to get her around.
Today, her nurse John Paul will be here and we'll give him all of this news. He has been great and Mom really likes him. I'm sure he will have some good advice for us as to what next steps might be in Mom's care.
Mar. 13, 2011 1:00 PM EDT
It has been a very busy and difficult past couple of days. Mom is not able to walk on her own at all anymore. Her right leg simply will not cooperate and do what she wants it to do. So, on Friday, we had to have a hospital bed brought in and placed in the living room. Mom is tired a lot and sleeps a lot of the time. She still enjoys visitors and recognizes people when she sees them, but is having a harder time putting the correct names to the faces. It tires her out, though, and she doesn't stay awake for more than an hour or two at a time. Also, it is much harder now to transfer her from the bed to the wheelchair , etc. since she can't help us as much. Still, she has no pain, really, and remains generally in good spirits.
Today we are expecting a visit from Dad's niece Catherine and husband Doug. Otherwise, it is a fairly quiet day. One thing is, I finally had the good sense to set up a baby monitor next to mom's bed. So now, I don't have to jump up all night everytime I hear a sound. I just listen for Mom's breathing and if it's still the same, I can go back to sleep. I'm getting a lot more sleep this way!
Thanks again to all of you for your kind thoughts, prayers, cards and calls. We appreciate all of the support.
--Patti
March 15th, 2011
Thank God for modern technology and the miracle of Skype video calling! Just about everyday Gitte and I are able to "come to visit" Mom, talk with her, sit with her and play music for her. What a blessing and a gift!
Mom and I have been talking on Skype for years while I have been out on tour. And then, when the video calling became available, Mom was the second one in the family (after me) to get a webcam so we could have our video chats two or three times a week.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I called Mom & Dad on Skype as usual...but I had just bought my webcam. When they answered, I asked "do you notice anything different"? Mom said "Oh yes, you've changed your picture....wait...it changed again". So I told them that it was live video with my new webcam. Without hesitation, R. C. said "Where do you get one of them son? How much do they cost"? I told him he could get one down at Wal-Mart for about $20 and an hour and a half later, they called us back with video! pretty cool huh?..... R. C., what a guy!!
Actually, because it is free to call computer to computer, we have just been able to "pick up the phone" and call whenever we felt like it. And because of that, Mom has become so used to it, that now, when we call on Skype, she feels as though Gitte and I are sitting in the same room with her...Again, what a blessing, especially for those of us who are so far away and unable actually be there with Mom & Dad right now.
Today, Gitte and I "came to visit" and we talked and played music for her for about an hour and a half! It is so healing and we all felt better as soon as we started to play. Mom sang along as we played her old favorites that I learned when I was a little boy as well as some "newer" old songs, and Patti was her usual goofy self...what fun!
It all started about the time I was 5 when I got my first guitar. Dad had just bought our first television and on a particular Sunday evening I saw a guitarist play on the Ed Sullivan show. His name was Chet Atkins. As soon as I heard him play, I began begging Mom & Dad to buy me a guitar. My first 3/4 size Harmony guitar came to me on my 5th birthday. I locked myself in my room and six months later I was playing with Mom and her Dad, my Grandpa Ivey Nalley, as he played his Hillbilly fiddle and of course with all the LaPratt family musicians who are too numerous to mention! (lol)
Everyday, from the time I got that first guitar, I would sit on the edge of my bed and Mom would sit beside me. She would sing all her old favorite songs from her childhood & when she was a teenager and I would try to figure out what chords to play. Eventually I learned them all and we have been singing and playing them for 53 years now. How great is that?? And, how great is it that even though I'm sitting almost 5000 miles away, we can still do that together today?
Today, while we were playing, she turned to Patti and wanted her to take my guitar and play a song too! God love her. It really WAS like we were sitting in the same room and in a way, was just like all the times we have done this before... except that this time, it was our turn to sit at the edge of her bed.
What a great "visit" we had.... And we'll come back again tomorrow for another session!
See ya' tomorrow Mom,
J. D. & Gitte
Mar. 17, 2011 9:30 EDT
Today was a rough day. Until yesterday, Mom had only minor pain that was controlled by aspirin. Yesterday, we had to start the vicodin, only half the allowed dose. Today, it was much worse. She was much more agitated and uncomfortable. We've had to increase the vicodin to the full dose. She is resting comfortably now, but with the rapid decline today, we are not sure how long the vicodin will be enough. She eats very little and sleeps a lot. Still, she has occasional periods where she is quite lucid and even still teases us and makes jokes. And she still responds positively to any Skype calls. I have a new Netbook that I can sit on her bedside table and let her talk to whomever. Today, Gennie and the kids called and Mom was happy to see them. She talks very softly, but she does enjoy the interaction...just for a short time, though, until she gets tired. Every day brings a new change. I remain very glad that Anne and I can be here to help her and Dad through this.
--Patti
Mar. 21, 2011 8:30 AM EDT
We had a nice weekend with the New Mexico gang here. Mom was glad to see Sara, Samaranthe, Max, Kieran and Karana (Jane). It takes her few minutes to recognize everyone, but eventually she does. We also had visits from George Haring and Larry Crawford on Saturday morning, then Diane Jacques and Judy Prior came by Saturday afternoon. We enjoyed seeing all of them. And thanks to Kathy for being the chauffeur again for the New Mexico gang.
Mom continues to sleep a lot, but she still enjoys singing along with JD and Gitte over Skype. We had two sing-a-long sessions this weekend which was fun for all of us. John Paul, Mom's nurse came by today. Mom's vital signs remain good and she is still fairly comfortable, so we are grateful for that. Thanks again to everyone for all the beautiful cards, messages and phone calls. Mom, Dad, Anne and I appreciate them all.
--Patti
Mar. 23, 2011 9:00 AM EDT
Good morning everyone,
Mom had a rough day yesterday and this morning, although she is resting comfortably now. Beginning yesterday, Mom has refused to eat or drink anything. She was having trouble swallowing anyway, but now when I ask if she is hungry or thirsty she just closes her mouth and shakes her head no. She was having trouble breathing this morning, so we set her up on oxygen to help out.
We have a snow storm going on today that started last night. We have around 4+ inches on the ground and so the nurse won't be coming until the road conditions get better. Tom will be coming back up here tomorrow to stay for a few days and we are looking forward to his visit. We continue to do as much as we can to keep Mom comfortable and so far, she seems OK.
--Patti
March 23, 2011 1:00 PM EDT
Hi everybody,
Well, the day has come, the clock has stopped at 12:08 PM EDT...Evelyn M. Haring, our dear Mom is gone.
As soon as I got Patti's email this morning updating Mom's condition (see the previous blog post above), I called her/them on Skype. Dad, Patti, Anne, Susie and Gitte & I (via Skype) were at her bedside. We all talked with Mom, and Gitte & I sang songs for her for about 45 minutes until John Paul (the nurse) came for his scheduled check up on Mom. All indications were that the end was drawing near...as we expected.
We told her we loved her, thanked her for all the wonderful years and the love we have shared with and felt from her. We reassured her that we're all fine, that we're going to take care of Dad and that it's ok for her to go whenever she's ready. Even though Mom could not respond, we could clearly see that she could hear us and knew we were all there with her. She has always been "The Great Communicator". Gitte and I said our goodbyes and said that we would keep the Skype on and talk again later in the day.
It wasn't very long after we hung up that Patti called again to say that at there had been yet another change in Mom's breathing, and then it had apparently stopped. Patti and Anne had checked to make sure, and then checked her pulse, and determined that Mom was gone. John Paul was called and he returned immediately to confirm and establish the time of death which was presumed to be 12:08 pm EDT and declared at 1:00PM EDT.
In the past few days, Mom had told us that she had seen her Dad (Grandpa Ivey) and Mom (our Mimmi) as well as Uncle Mearall and Uncle Lawerence. (she didn't mention Uncle Clayton but I bet he's been there too) and indicated that she felt they were ready and waiting to greet her and had come to help her cross over. Geez!..what a family we've got!
When I checked the time of our Skype call, I could see that she died less than 15 minutes after we hung up. What a privilege to be able to sing her over to the other side, just what Gitte and I had hoped we could do.
I am sure that there will come a veritable flood of thoughts, emotions and memories that I will want to share in the coming days/weeks, which I will continue to post to this blog, but, this will have to be enough for right now.
Thanks so very much to all of you who have been so kind, loving and wonderfully supportive during this process! What it has meant to all of us, defies description!
Until I can gather more thoughts to share here, all I can say is;
On behalf of all of us, Bon Voyage Mom!...Consider yourself hugged, kissed, loved and missed!
J. D. Haring
Mar. 24, 2011 10:00 AM EDT
It's a bright sunny day in Prudenville, MI. As I posted on Facebook, I'm sure this means that Mom has arrived safely at her destination. She always liked to know when any of us arrived anywhere, so I'm guessing this is her message to us. When she left us, there was music in her ears and heart and last night I'm sure the whole family in heaven was "pickin' and grinnin," with Mom singing her usual beautiful harmonies. It is indeed quiet here, but there is beautiful music playing where Mom is.
I miss Mom very much, of course, but I feel so fortunate to have been able to be here to help her through these last days, and to have her help me through. And our family is so incredibly fortunate to have so much love and support from such a wide-reaching group of friends and family throughout the world. Some people have said that words are little comfort at a time like this, but really, for me at least, they are great comfort. All the comments here, on Facebook, in emails, cards and personal visits have helped to give me the strength to handle this recent struggle. I can't tell you what it means to me to know that so many people have so much love and affection for my Mom and my family. She was an extraordinary woman who lived a great life that touched people she never even met. Amazing.
Thanks to all of you. I will re-read this blog many times in the coming days and weeks, I know, and it will continue to give me comfort and strength. My love to all of you.
--Patti
Vote for me in the Youbloom Song Contest
